Some people might still have an impression that those who go for counseling or therapy are inferior or deficient in some way, maybe lacking in love, or decency, or even common sense.

The truth is, there is virtually no one (even among therapists) who does not benefit from talking over thoughts and feelings privately, getting a dispassionate perspective when sorting through complicated situations, having a sympathetic ear for a rant or a sounding board, learning new skills for relating from an expert, and so on.

The tide has turned on such stigma, with many of the most affluent and visible Hollywood couples (if that is where you take your advice) publicizing their use of couple counseling, even when their relationships are going well. Ironically, this might instead make counseling appear to be an exclusive luxury or a high-status activity!

In fact, relationship counselling is for everyone, not as a correction or punishment, but a chance to learn and practice ways to get along that are actually not intuitive. We believe that this important information and skill set should be taught in every school, as part of a foundational course in the science of human nature. This would transform all sorts of relationships in our society and our world.

You and your partner are human, having different histories, values, emotions and foibles. None of us can be smart enough, loving enough, reasonable enough, nice enough, sensible enough, or good enough to avoid relationship problems entirely. It is what you do in the moment of encountering differences that determines how happily you experience life together.

Going for counseling demonstrates self-awareness, self-discipline, commitment to the relationship, and a growth attitude that are very desirable qualities in every partner and every person. You can be proud of using counseling to make your relationship the best possible.